* Visitors from Coventry - Flying Circus (Episode 12)
Arthur: (stepping in; to Iris) Hello, I'm Arthur. Arthur Name. Name by name but not by nature. I always say that, don't I Vicky boy?
Arthur: (to Victor) Is that your wife?
Victor: Er, no, actually.
Arthur: Oh, I get the picture. Eh? Well don't worry about me Vicky boy, I know all about one-night stands.
Victor: I beg your pardon?
[ DOWNLOAD SKETCH ] - Visitors from Coventry
(File Length: 00:04:57 - File Size: 1.41 MB - File Type: MP3)
* Police Raid - Flying Circus (Episode 5)
Policeman: Oh, oh ... yes, er ... certain substances on the premises. To be removed for clinical tests.
Young Man: Have you got anything particular in mind?
Policeman: Well what have you got?
Young Man: Nothing, officer.
Policeman: You are Sandy Camp the actor?
Young Man: Yes.
[ DOWNLOAD SKETCH ] - Police Raid
(File Length: 00:01:23 - File Size: 405 KB - File Type: MP3)
* Army Protection Racket - Flying Circus (Episode 8)
Dino: You ought to be careful, colonel.
Colonel: We arc careful, extremely careful.
Dino: 'Cos things break, don't they?
Luigi: Well everything breaks, don't it colonel. (he breaks something on desk) Oh dear.
Dino: Oh see my brother's clumsy Colonel, and when he gets unhappy he breaks things. Like say, he don't feel the army's playing fair by him, he may start breaking things, Colonel.
[ DOWNLOAD SKETCH ] - Army Protection Racket
(File Length: 00:04:08 - File Size: 1.18 MB - File Type: MP3)
* Come Back To My Place - Flying Circus (Episode 13)
Inspector: Uh huh.
Man: I'm terribly sorry but I was sitting on a park bench over there, took my coat off for a minute and then I found my wallet had been stolen and £15 taken from it.
Inspector: Well did you er, did you see anyone take it, anyone hanging around or...
Man: No no, there was no one there at all. That's the trouble.
Inspector: Well there's not very much we can do about that, sir.
[ DOWNLOAD SKETCH ] - Come Back To My Place
(File Length: 00:00:32 - File Size: 190 KB - File Type: MP3)
* Leapy Lee - Flying Circus (Episode 21)
Woman: Good evening. My name is Leapy Lee. No, sorry. That's the name of me favourite singer. My name is Mrs Fred Stone. No, no, Mrs Fred Stone is the wife of me favourite tennis player. My name is Bananas. No, no, that's me favourite fruit. I'm Mrs Nice- evening-out-at-the-pictures-then-perhaps-a-dance-at-a-club-and- back-to-his-plice-for-a-quick-cup-of-coffee-and-little-bit-of- no! No, sorry, that's me favourite way of spending a night out. Perhaps I am Leapy Lee? ... (goes on)
[ DOWNLOAD SKETCH ] - Leapy Lee
(File Length: 00:01:02 - File Size: 306 KB - File Type: MP3)
* Ratcatcher / Wainscotting - Flying Circus (Episode 20)
Ratcatcher: No, it was just a little joke. Actually, I am the Council Ratcatcher.
Mrs Concrete: Oh yes, we've been expecting you.
Ratcatcher: Oh, I gather you've got a little rodental problem.
Mrs Concrete: Oh, blimey. You'd think he was awake all the night, scrabbling down by the wainscotting.
Ratcatcher: Um, that's an interesting word, isn't it?
[ DOWNLOAD SKETCH ] - Ratcatcher / Wainscotting
(File Length: 00:02:11 - File Size: 643 KB - File Type: MP3)
* Ken Shabby - Flying Circus (Episode 12)
Shabby: Oh yeah, yeah. I'll be able to look after 'er all fight sport, eh, know what I mean, eh emggh!
Father: And, er, what job do you do?
Shabby: I clean out public lavatories.
Father: Is there promotion involved?
Shabby: Oh yeah, yeah. (produces handkerchief and clean throat horribly into it) After five years they give me a brush ... eurggha eurgh ... I'm sorry squire, I've gobbed on your carpet...
[ DOWNLOAD SKETCH ] - Ken Shabby
(File Length: 00:01:38 - File Size: 576 KB - File Type: MP3)
* The Oscar Wilde Sketch - Flying Circus (Episode 39)
Whistler: ... Well, Your Highness, what I meant was that, like a doughnut, um, your arrival gives us pleasure and your departure only makes us hungry for more. (laughter) Your Highness, you are also like a stream of bat's piss.
Whistler: It was one of Wilde's. One of Wilde's.
Oscar: It sodding was not! It was Shaw!
Shaw: I ... I merely meant, Your Majesty, that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark.
[ DOWNLOAD SKETCH ] - The Oscar Wilde Sketch
(File Length: 00:02:54 - File Size: 1.99 MB - File Type: MP3)
* Timmy Williams Interview - Flying Circus (Episode 19)
Peter: Yes, we met in the Turkish bath yesterday.
Timmy: Super, super. Did it come up well in the writing yesterday?
Peter: Great, great, great.
Timmy: You took out the tummy references? (makes fatness signs)
Peter: Yes, I did.
Timmy: Super, super, super. Just to fill you in, this is Nigel Watt and we are having a little heart-to-hem. H-E-A-R-T. Smashing. Do go on, Nigel.
[ DOWNLOAD SKETCH ] - Timmy Williams Interview
(File Length: 00:03:41 - File Size: 649 KB - File Type: WAV)
* Children's Stories - Flying Circus (Episode 3)
Storyteller: (sitting with large children's book, at desk) Hello, Children, hello. Here is this morning's story. Are you ready? Then we'll begin. (opens book; reads) 'One day Ricky the magic Pixie went to visit Daisy Bumble in her tumbledown cottage. He found her in the bedroom. Roughly he gabbed her heavy shoulders pulling her down on to the bed and ripping off her...; (reads silently, turns over page quickly, smiles) 'Old Nick the Sea Captain ... (goes on)
[ DOWNLOAD SKETCH ] - Children's Stories
(File Length: 00:01:20 - File Size: 393 KB - File Type: MP3)
* Interesting People - Flying Circus (Episode 11)
Compère: Well, Mr Walters, what's it like being invisible?
Walters: (slowly and boringly) Well, for a start, at the office where I work I can be sitting at my desk all day and the others totally ignore me. At home, even though we are in the same room, my wife does not speak to me for hours, people pass me by in the street without a glance in my direction, and I can walk into a room without...
Compère: Well, whilst we've got interesting people, we met Mr Oliver Cavendish who...
Walters: (droning on) ... Even now you yourself, you do hardly notice me...
[ DOWNLOAD SKETCH ] - Interesting People
(File Length: 00:03:18 - File Size: 775 KB - File Type: MP3)
* Working Class Playwright - Flying Circus (Episode 2)
Mum: Oh, don't shout at the boy, father.
Dad: Aye, 'ampstead wasn't good enough for you, was it? ... you had to go poncing off to BarnsIcy, you and yer coal-mining friends. (spits)
Ken: Coal-mining is a wonderful thing father, but it's something you'll never understand. Just look at you!
Mum: Oh Ken! Be careful! You know what he's like after a few novels.
Dad: Oh come on lad! Come on, out wi' it! What's wrong wi' me?... yet tit!
[ DOWNLOAD SKETCH ] - Working Class Playwright
(File Length: 00:02:59 - File Size: 877 KB - File Type: MP3)
* Red Indian in Theatre - Flying Circus (Episode 6)
Indian: We do 'Dial M for Murder'. Chief Running Elk - him kill buffalo with bare hands, run thousand paces when the sun is high - him play Chief Inspector Hardy - heap good fine actor.
Man: You do a lot of acting do you?
Indian: Yes. Redfoot tribe live by acting and hunting.
Man: You don't fight any more?
Indian: Yes! Redfoot make war! When Chief Yellow Snake was leader, and Mighty Eagle was in land of forefather, we fight Pawnee at Oxbow Crossing. When Pawnee steal our rehearsal copies of 'Reluctant Debutante' we kill fifty Pawnee - houses heap full every night. Heap good publicity.
[ DOWNLOAD SKETCH ] - Red Indian in Theatre
(File Length: 00:02:17 - File Size: 671 KB - File Type: MP3)
* Tudor Job Agency / Bookshop - Flying Circus (Episode 36)
Assistant: It's a dead loss. We haven't put anyone in a job since 1625.
Customer: I see.
Assistant: That's all?
Assistant: That's all you say?
[ DOWNLOAD SKETCH ] - Tudor Job Agency / Bookshop
(File Length: 00:10:52 - File Size: 3.73 MB - File Type: MP3)